FOOTBALLZ WEEK NINE! CHIEFS v. STEELERS

WE ARE SORRY FOR THIS RACISM BUT IT IS MORE ABOUT HOW WE CRY WHEN WE WATCH THE CHIEFS

vs.

I GUESS THIS IS A GAME BETWEEN TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN EXPLOITED

SPIKERS,

WWWWWWEEEEEKKKKKKK NINE NINE NINE! WE ARE HEADED DOWN THE BACK STRETCH (we are following this to stay limber)! And now we know some things and what we know is that this game is going to be ugly. This week the utterly terrible Kansas City Chiefs face off with the maybe pretty decent Pittsburgh Steelers and we are all going to survive it. IN FACT, this may be the perfect game for FOOTBALLZ, with little to no doubt about the outcome you can while away the hours while we spew about all things football and loosely related to football. Regardless of game quality, football is still awesome and there is not that much left this season so you should put one of those weird swimmer nose plug things in/on your nose and put your face on the teevee.

THE CHIEFS stink, they stink bad, they are probably the stinkiest team this year (these guys might argue that point but luckily we don’t have to watch them), they might consider changing their name to the the Stinkas City Stinkchiefs and their helmets to this. Their head coach recently fired their defensive coordinator which would be fine but the head coach was their defensive coordinator so that is kind of a problem, their fans openly rooted for their quarterback to get injured and when he did they were forced to start this guy who couldn’t even hack it as a starter in Cleveland, and an anti-team facebook page is approaching higher numbers than attendance at home games. This team more or less as it is constructed now made the playoffs just two years ago so this stinkspiral is extra disturbing AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET TO WATCH FOR THREE HOURS TOGETHER MY FRIENDS SO LIMBER UP YOUR EYES FOR EXTRA ROLLING.

THE STEELERS are continuing another season of being counted out as AFC North Champions until rounding into shape during the last half of the season, making the playoffs, then either making the rest of the country sick by making the Super Bowl again or losing in hilarious and unprecedented fashion (even in Japanese that is still awesome. Injuries have started to catch up with this veteran team as the biggest villain in the NFL has missed time (unfortunately not with a karmic injury of this mouth spraining itself while he said more terrible things) and defensive leader/celebrity haircut Troy Polamalu falling victim to recurring hamstring problems. They continue to roll on behind their still-not-quite-convicted-of-rape-somehow QB Ben Roethlisberger and head coach/Omar Epps body double Mike Tomlin and will keep annoying me perhaps until the end of time itself (I suppose I’ll just watch this scene of a fake version of Heinz Field exploding over and over till they lose). SO HEY! DID A GREAT JOB OF SELLING THIS ONE! TERRIBLE VERSUS ANNOYING IN A CONTEST TO SEE WHO CAN MAKE US QUIT WATCHING FOOTBALL FOREVER! BUT HERE’S THEY THING THEY DON’T KNOW! WE WILL WATCH UNTIL THE SUN BURNS OUT (or until we turn into this guy)! SO TAKE THAT ESPN SCHEDULE MAKERS! YOU COULD NOT STOP US WITH FAKE REFS, YOU COULD NOT STOP US FRANKENSTORMS AND YOU CANNOT STOP US WITH TERRIBLE TEAMS! WE WILL KEEP WATCHING AND TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING TILL YOU WEEP AND BEG US TO STOP! AND THEN WE STILL WON’T! WE, LIKE GLOBAL WARMING, CAN NO LONGER BE DENIED! SO TASTE OUR TENACIOUSNESS TONIGHT! 8:30PM! FOOTBALLZ.ORG!

Thanks,

The Footballz Team

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