FOOTBALLZ WEEK 12! RAVENS VS. BROWNS!

that's so many ravens

that’s so many ravens!

vs.

if you poop the top middle one you should see a doctor

if you poop the top middle one you should see a doctor

RUBBERBAND MEN AND WOMEN,

AGAIN, NOT A TON OF TIME THIS WEEK BECAUSE YESTERDAY I REALLY WENT OUT AND WATCHED FOOTBALL AND I HAVE TO GET ON A BUS IN LIKE AN HOUR. ANNNNNYYYYWAAAYYYYY TONIGHT’S GAME IS GOING TO BE STRAIGHT GARBAGGIO. THE RAVENS HAVE BEEN CURSED BY SOME SORT OF ELDER GOD OR JOHN WATERS OR SOMETHING THIS SEASON BECAUSE THEY’RE IR LIST LOOKS LIKE THIS:

BWUH?

BWUH?

THAT’S A LOT OF DUDES! IT ALSO MEANS WE’RE EITHER GOING TO SEE JIMMY CLAUSEN, WHO’S ALREADY BEEN RELEASED ONCE THIS YEAR AND HAD A STATLINE LIKE THIS IN THE ONE GAME HE STARTED, OR MATT SCHAUB, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE ALL THERE ANYMORE, AT QB! THIS WOULD MAKE FOR A LOPSIDED GAME USUALLY BUT THE BROWNS ARE LIKE THE GARBAGE AT A DUMP THAT EVEN THE RATS THAT LIVE THERE WON’T EAT. SAID GARBAGE¬†BROWNS HAVE THEIR OWN QUARTERBACK ISSUES, THEIR ONE TIME QUARTERBACK OF THE FUTURE IS ON THE EDGE OF BEING RELEASED. NO, NOT THE ONE THAT WAS REALLY OLD WHEN THEY DRAFTED HIM, AND NOT THE ONE WHO WAS SORT OF AMAZING FOR THAT ONE SEASON, AND NOT THE ONE THAT THEY DRAFTED #1 WHEN THEY CAME BACK INTO THE LEAGUE. I’M TALKING ABOUT THE ONE THAT WAS SUPER FUN IN COLLEGE AND MAYBE IS AN ALCOHOLIC, YEAH, THIS GUY! HE WAS MAYBE GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME BUT THEN HE WENT TO A PARTY AND NOW HE PROBABLY ISN’T GOING TO PLAY FOR THE BROWNS EVER AGAIN AND THAT SUCKS. AT LEAST HE WAS INTERESTING, BROWNS CURRENT STARTER JOSH MCCOWN ISN’T EVEN THE MOST INTERESTING QUARTERBACK IN HIS FAMILY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! BUT YOU KNOW WHO ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PEOPLE IN THEIR RESPECTIVE FAMILIES? WE ARE! WELL, MY BROTHER IS PRETTY COOL! HE WORKS IN A BANK! BUT TONIGHT! WE WILL BE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN OUR RESPECTIVE FAMILIES THAT WILL BE BROADCASTING AN ALTERNATIVE AUDIO PROGRAM TO ESPN’S MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! PROBABLY! I DON’T KNOW WHAT MY DISTANT COUSINS ARE DOING TONIGHT! BUT TONIGHT! AT 8:30PM! FOOTBALLZ IS BACK! AND IT ISN’T JUST ME! THE WHOLE GANG WILL BE THERE! MAC! CHRIS! A PHONE CALL WITH STEFAN MAROLACHAKIS¬†OF THE OPEN RUN PODCAST! CHAT PEOPLE! THE BROWNS! THE RAVENS! THE FOOTBALLZ! TONNNNNNIIIIIGGGHHHTTTTTTT!

 

 

 

 

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