WEEK 10! Saints v. Giants!

it was either this or the movie poster for that dumb Val Kilmer vehicle

vs.

Yes this is called a flesh giant and yes it is from world of warcraft but at least I had to look that up

FART CATS,

You know that we love football, we mock it incessantly but as in grade school you only make fun of the ones you like the most. Why else would we submit ourselves to 12-7 Jacksonville/Baltimore epics and multiple viewings of the Kansas City Chiefs? We would we ignore our loved ones pleas to go apple picking every Sunday in the fall so we can catch the end of a Browns/Bengals game? Pro football is a rare and limited resource, as we often say, so we must accept the garbage along with the greatness which makes this game tonight so exciting, BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE THE GREATNESS. You see, we have the rare treat of watching two possible playoff teams in a game that will have severe ramifications on both’s seasons. The New Orleans Saints and The New York Giants are two of football’s(z) best, this is why we sit through the Matt Moores (moops) and the Curtis Painters and multiple exposures to Blaine Gabbert, DUDES AT THE TOP OF THEIR GAME PLAYING TO KEEP THEIR POST SEASON DREAMS ALIVE (a side note do you think these guys dream about the playoff? I mean I dream about work sometimes and granted my job is not as high pressured as these dudes but even with that most of my dreams that take place at work are about sex or horrible things happening and I can’t see how the playoffs would be involved in either and if they are I WOULD NOT WANT TO KEEP THOSE DREAMS ALIVE, I WOULD WANT TO KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS, or maybe a bat).

Annnnnyyyyyywaaaayyy, the Saints are beloved and with good reason, they all seem like pretty cool dudes, New Orleans is a great town still, they won a title and everybody (except this guy) was super happy for them. They even make a cameo in one of my favorite moments last season (Saints fans should not watch this video), basically they are the only NFL team I have nothing bad to say about. This season is a bit of a mixed bag, their defense is not aging well and their coach had this happen but Drew Brees is still working his magic birthmark and Darren Sproles has been a great replacement for Reggie Bush. The Saints are an entertaining group of nice people who play very awesome football to watch, I’m sure we’ll find something terrible to say about them eventually

The Giants, to me, are kind of like the anti-Saints, their quarterback is a soft faced ninny and their coach is a blustering bully. They have few players who I find to be compelling though they have an excellent defensive line (including the well according to Mac well posteriored Justin Tuck, proprietor (in our imaginations) of Justin Tuck’s Butt Tux Hut, your home for all your ass related formal wear needs) and Hakeem Nicks can catch just about anything (which is why he wears one of those surgical masks all the time). They also play in New York so we’d hear about them even if they were bad so I guess it is better that they’re good this year but if they end up in the Super Bowl against, let’s say, Pittsburgh I’ll be in kitchen eating snacks the whole time. BUT TONIGHT THESE TWO POSSIBLE DIVISION LEADERS FACE OFF! AN EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN TWO TEAMS THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO PLAY FOR! AND WE WILL BE THERE! NAD BY THERE WE MEAN IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION! A NOT SO FANCY ONE AT THAT (SORRY MAC)! DOES SOMEONE WANT TO GET US A FANCY TV? DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO BUT IT WOULD MAKE THE BROADCAST BETTER! PROBABLY! WHO KNOWS REALLY! BUT TONIGHT WE WILL ALL BE THERE IN FRONT OF OUR VARIOUS TELEVISIONS OF VARIOUS QUALITIES TO WATCH WHAT SHOULD BE AN AWESOME GAME! BUT ITS IMPORTANCE WILL NOT STOP US FROM SPEWING OUR SPECIAL BRAND OF “HUMOR”! SO CHECK IT OUT! 8:30PM! WWW.FOOTBALLZ.ORG!

 

Thanks,

The Footballz Team

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