FOOTBALLZ WEEK 16! FINAL FOOTBALLZ OF THE SEASON! ALSO WE ARE LIVE! AGAIN!

There is a joke in here about a white bronco but I cannot really find it

There is a joke in here about a white bronco but I cannot really find it

vs.

That tiger has disturbingly shapely legs

That tiger has disturbingly shapely legs

TREE CLIMBERS,

IT’S HERE! THE END OF THE FOOTBALLZ SEASON! Guuuyyyyyyzzzz, I’m totally going to miss all of your eyes and ears and fingers and whatnot as our season of you just sort listening to me blab comes to an end. Oh what a season it’s been! Lots of football games happened! We made podcasts so you could enjoy our mouth things whenever you wanted! We made a facebook fan page because we like to do things that we should have done like, 3 years ago or something! We had a fun party! And you know what, we’re having another one this Monday to celebrate us and you and sporps and drinking and all of the things that you love/hate! It’ll be at the same place as the last one, the only sporps bar in the greater Boston area Parlor Sports (they will not let us change the name to Parlor Sporps for the night which is a shame but other than that they are great humans for letting us ruin their bar one more time this season). Oh and there is a game that we will be “watching” between teams who may even make the playoffs! Wait whhhhaaaaaaaaa? Yes! An important game between talented teams, it’s a unnamed holiday MIRACLE! So let’s talk about these dummies!

THE DENVER BRONCOS are certainly Super Bowl contenders. They’re lead by human commercial generator/lover of terrible pizza/mostly forehead based life form Peyton Manning who has STILL only won one Super Bowl which gives him exactly as many as talking thumb, Trent Dilfer. They seemed to be in good shape to return to the game that they lost last year 43-8 to the greatest team in history (once again, I will link to that any chance I get) with a strengthened defense and the addition of WR Emmanuel Sanders, they spent the good part of the season looking unstoppable. The last few weeks they’ve looked less than awesome maybe that’s just Manning getting into playoff form early? Or perhaps it is their coach, John Fox, regressing to the profession that he looks like he should be in, high school gym teacher in, I want to say, suburban Scottsdale, AZ. Who really knows? The world is a strange place and the mysteries of the Denver Broncos will have to remain unrevealed till after the game.

THE CINCINNATI BENGALS have a problem, a big old ginger problem, QB Andy Dalton. See the Bengals are good and Dalton is not terrible and so they are kind of doomed to be just pretty good. Being upset about being pretty good is kind of like complaining that they gym at your job doesn’t have a super nice sauna but sports fans are nothing if not rapacious seekers of betterment and the lack of Bengal betterment is wearing thin with their fans. They do have the amazing AJ Green who is great at being a wide receiver even if he is terrible at having headphones (seriously, if a dude who is at the upper percentile of our species when it comes to dexterity can be bumfuzzled by a headphone wire then we are truly doomed). They also have a defense that was excellent last time I was paying attention but I don’t really pay that much attention. BUT YOU KNOW WHO SHOULD PAY ATTENTION? YOU! WHEN? MONDAY NIGHT! AT AROUND 8 OR SO IN PERSON! OR 8:30PM ONLINE! MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE SHOW HERE! WE, OF COURSE, WILL HAVE GUESTS! INCLUDING COMEDIAN GUITLER RAPHAEL! AND ROXY’S GRILLED CHEESE IMPRESARIO JAMES DISABATINO! AS WELL AS HUMORIST/JEWELRY MAKER/MUSICIAN SARAH CRONIN! AND PRIZES! AND OUR FACES! AND FOOOOOOTTTTBBBBBAAAAALLLLZZZZZZZZZZ!

Comments are closed.