FOOTBALLZ WEEK 14! PACKERS V. FALCONS!

Yes, this is a reference to a character who appeared just a few times on a show that went off the air years ago but you try finding a non-football related packer photo (yes, we have already used a photo of a packing company and George Packer of the New Yorker).

Yes, this is a reference to a character who appeared just a few times on a show that went off the air years ago but you try finding a non-football related packer photo (yes, we have already used a photo of a packing company and George Packer of the New Yorker).

vs.

you can run kid, you can dream of flying while you do,  but you can never escape what appears to be the boring town that you live in.

you can run kid, you can dream of flying while you do, but you can never escape what appears to be the boring town that you live in.

Saddos,

Gotta make this one quick my dawgz, my computer is totally broken and in the shop where a bunch of dudes make you feel bad (I’m I the only one who feels like a jerk whenever I have to go get something fixed? Like somehow I’m the real problem not the device or instrument that is malfunctioning? Like I broke it therefore I’m broken? Ugh, I really need to stop reading that book of Smog lyrics every morning) so I’m on my cohabitant’s computer and don’t want to be a laptop hog (just sit back and let that evocative phrase form a picture in your mind, mmmmmmmmmm, delicious). ANYWAY, the FOOTBALLZ season is nearly at an end so relish these words for soon they will be gone and you will be left bereft of the only joy that you have in the world (I’m pretty sure that I’m talking about you and not me but then again, this) SO LET’S PREVIEW THESE DARN TEAMS.

THE GREEN BAY PACKERS are good, veeeeeery good, like lots of people think they are going to the Super Bowl good and with good reason, they have all world QB and dater of the best part of the Newsroom (if any of you thought that I was talking about Jeff Daniels you should go throw your computer in a river right now because you don’t deserve it. Now, if you thought it was Sam Waterston then you can stay. Also, doesn’t Aaron Rodgers look mildly terrified in that photo?) under center and he has been awesome since he went on the radio and told people to

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. In fact the whole team has been pretty awesome since that moment including our favorite former rapping french baby Jordy Nelson (WE WILL NEVER STOP MAKING THAT REFERENCE) and future dude who stars in the commercials that Troy Polamalu stars in currently, Clay Matthews (the only thing that can prevent him from doing so is his tragic dumbface affliction, seriously that dude looks like he fell face first through a shovel factory). WHATEVER, the Packers are good and this game is in Wisconsin so it will be cold and we’ll have to hear about that all night and they’ll probably win.

THE ATLANTA FALCONS are in the thick of the saddest playoff race in history. They currently sit in first place in the NFC South but they do so with a record of 5-7 (I wish there was a caps lock for numbers because a first place team having two TWO (that’s how you do it) more losses than wins deserves some e-shouting) WHICH IS TERRIBLE. I hope all the teams in their division all lose as much as possible so that we have a team with a terrible record in the playoffs and all the people who get huffy and puffy about these things head’s do this. The Falcons are not all the way terrible, they still have Matt “Matty Ice” Ryan (who still has the worst nickname in professional sports) at QB and Julio “I’m good so I don’t have a nickname” Jones at Wide Receiver, so their offense can at least be entertaining. On defense they do have one of my favorite names in all of man’s recorded history, this dude, but not much else SO THAT IS KIND OF DEPRESSING FOR THEM! MAYBE THEY SHOULD LISTEN TO MORE SMOG? BUT MAYBE ALSO ENOUGH WITH WHITE DUDES TELLING US ALL HOW HARD LIFE IS FOR THEM? EVEN IF THEY DO IT ARTFULLY? YOU KNOW WHO WONT HAVE A HARD TIME? US! TONIGHT! WHEN FOOTBALLZ RETURNS AT FULL STRENGTH! BECAUSE I’LL BE BACK ON THE MIC AND IN STUDIO! READY TO DRIZZLE MY SWEET SWEET WORD JUICE IN YOUR EARS! AT 8:30PM EASTERN! HERE AND AT THECLASSICAL.ORG! GEEEEEETTTTTTTT READDDDDDDDYYYYYYYY! TO LISTEN! FOOTBALLZ! SAVOR IT WHILE YOU CAN!

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