FOOTBALLZ WEEK 8! COWBOYS V. _______________!

this kid is super cool

this kid is super cool

vs.

yes, this again

yes, this again

Godzillas,

Whew, we made it. The day of football that started at 9:30am and did not end until like midnight has come and gone and it was pretty overwhelming. What was your favorite part? Mine was for sure Terry Bradshaw getting real honest with me about his shingles before I finished my breakfast, man that was sweet. I’ll admit that after my team won (whee!) I kind of tuned everything out, football remained on the television in my home but other things took precedence like making dinner and reading about my team winning and paying attention to my girlfriend. I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep now so don’t worry, I’ll be able to give this game between a team that’s good that I don’t like and a team that’s bad that I don’t like my full attention, now let’s talk about these jerks!

THE DALLAS COWBOYS are good again and that sucks. Normally we have to hear about them all the time but that usually because of something bad, like somebody slapping their mom, or how they’re ripping off their fans, or who their QB is dating, or whatever the hell this turned out to be, and at least that stuff is kind of funny. Now that they’re good we just have to hear about how good they are and I hate that. They’re good mostly because of running back DeMarco Murray who it playing super well but is on pace to carry the ball until his body explodes on the fieldĀ so we’ll see how long that lasts. I’m so glad we get to watch them tonight.

THE WASHINGTON DC FOOTBALL TEAM is one that we watched, like three weeks ago, right? Since then, the team has continued to suck but now they have a new QB who has been terrible always, I mean CUT BY THE BROWNS terrible. Other than that they still have a super racist name that their stupid owner will probably not change until the courts pretty much force him to. I’m so glad we get to watch them tonight. JUST KIDDING I HATE BOTH OF THESE TEAMS AND WISH WE WERE WATCHING ALMOST ANY OTHER SET OF TEAMS! EAST COAST MEDIA BIAS! THE SADDEST PART IS THAT WE’D BE WATCHING THESE TEAMS EVEN IF BOTH OF THEM WERE TERRIBLE! THAT IS THE WAY OF THE WORLD! AND THE WORLD IS INDEED A VAMPIRE! SET TO DRAI-EA-EA-EAN! BUT TONIGHT! WE WILL NOT DRAIN! WE WILL FILL! YOUR EARS! WITH WORDS AND SONG TO SOOTHE YOUR TROUBLES! AND GUESTS TOO! AT HALFTIME I INTERVIEW ARTIST/FILMMAKER ASHLEIGH CARRAWAY OF PLANCHETTE! AND IN THE FOURTH QUARTER A CALL FROM BRIAN THURBER OF DSKINDC.ORG! TO TALK ABOUT POSSIBLE NON-RACIST NAMES FOR THE DC FOOTBALL TEAM! AND ALSO HOW WE USED TO BE ROOMMATES! SORRY ABOUT THAT PAN I MIGHT HAVE RUINED! PLUS! RACIST JAR PROTOCOLS WILL BE IN EFFECT! AND ALL SORT OF OTHER NUTTY STUFF! TONIGHT! AT 8:30PM EASTERN! HERE AND AT THECLASSICAL.ORG! COME GET IT! IF IT IS SOME DUDES TALKING!

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