FOOTBALLZ POSTSEASON PREVIEW! THE PRO BOWL!

The official Pro Bowl trophy

The official Pro Bowl trophy

WELCOME BACK!

How have you guys been enjoying football without FOOTBALLZ? We have has some mixed feelings here at FOOTBALLZ HQ but we have struggled through these weeks of merely talking to the tv screen rather than talking to the both of you that listen to us as well as the TV screen. BUT THIS SUNDAY WE ARE BACK! FOR ONE MORE RIDE INTO THE BREACH! Yes, we are covering the worst all-star game in all of pro sports, THE (should not be using the word)PRO BOWL! This week we’ll be back guiding you through what promises to be a boring weird game that the NFL has kept alive in an attempt to squeeze one more bag of cash out of their players that they don’t really care about the safety of.

In this day and age every all-star game is kind of pointless. It used to be that the various all-star games would serve as a chance for fans to be treated to the talents of players that are in media markets outside of their own. These days, however, with the internet and sports networks and all the places you can see highlights, the novelty of seeing these outside your market stars has lost its luster, we have all the stars in all the markets. One might think then, that an all star game is the chance to see great athletes make great plays with players that they don’t normally get to play with, it is in this case that the Pro Bowl falls flattest. Football plays are made great by the cohesion between the players, the repetition during practice that produces the timing needed on the field, and the Pro Bowl has none of that, the players are thrown together for maybe two practices. It also has a bunch of dudes who just got done avoiding serious injury all year playing the most brutal team sport in all of North America so we should all forgive them for taking not going 100% in a meaningless exhibition game.

BUT THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT, instead of teams divided up by conference the NFL has made two former players (who have become broadcasters) the “GMs” of each team and allowed them to draft their players (this would have been much more fun if they had picked random people off the street who knew nothing of the game to choose the teams). They also televised this process, apparently it was SUPER BORING (I guess I could have said “more like Pro Bowring, right?” (like pro bowl and pro boring as opposed to super bowl and super boring) but that would have been terrible and maybe kind of racist?), luckily I don’t have cable so I had an excuse for escaping what seemed like a total nightmare (another way this could have been cooler/weirder (for this game I’ll take either) is if they didn’t have positions and just chose whomever they wanted, why not have kickers as QBs? Defensive ends as wide receivers? Offensive linemen punting? Not to get too Bill Simmons but WHO WOULDN’T WATCH THIS?). Anyone who did sit through the hours of coverage for this nonsense without being paid or losing a bet should seek professional help immediately

I ask you though, IS THERE A GAME WE SHOULD BE COVERING ANY MORE THAN THIS? This game is perfect for us, a monument to the pointlessness of football played in warm place while we all shiver through the worst part of the year. THIS IS WHAT FOOTBALLZ IS HERE FOR! SPORTS ARE POINTLESS SO LET US DISCUSS WHATEVER! LET’S WATCH THIS DUMB THING TOGETHER AND MAKE JOKES AT THE EXPENSE OF THOSE WHO HAVE IT GENERALLY BETTER THAN WE DO! LET PRO THIS BOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLL! HERE! 7PM EASTERN! SUNDAY! PLUS A HALFTIME INTERVIEW WITH AWESOME ARTIST GINA BEAVERS! AND SOME OTHER BULLSHIT PROBABLY!

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