currently best sellers for colts fans


the worst photobooth at the worst party


You see as a group of dudes that have watched every Monday Night Football game for the last so many years we have become desensitized somewhat. Endless permutations of AFC and NFC East teams with a healthy sprinkling of the Colts/Packers/Steelers/Saints have left us with less and less to say. It can be draining to work up a lot of emotion for two teams you kind of don’t even really like and who’s game you kind of predict (like last week, we knew that there would be lots of shots of Jerry Jones and Mike Shanahan, unfortunately neither of them would be these, and that the despite all of his mistakes Tony Romo would be slurped afterwards), so I must say we really relish the match-up this week.

us excited (circa 2009)

“BUT BUT WHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU? YOU GUYS JUST MENTIONED HOW YOU SEE THE COLTS ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU WERE BITCHING LIKE LITTLE BABY PEOPLE IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH.” you are probably saying right now (and if you are you should not talk so much to your computer, the growing reliance on electronic formes of communication has led to real loss of decorum in the real world, you should go write a letter (haha just kidding, your computer is your best friend and we all know it you want to marry it in international waters where that kind of thing is totally legal and that is totally fine, just live your life and try to be happy in this dark dark world)) but these are not any old Colts, these Colts really really stink. You see as you may or may not know, their glorious leader Peyton Manning in out after a  somewhat gross sounding neck surgery (one-level cervical neck fusion, also the name of my experimental jazz band, JAZZ JOKE) and not matter how many European stem cells or future obese people tears are shed he won’t be back any time soon and in his place there are these dudes.

currently weeping tears, will weep gravy in the future

Now we will admit that much of this joy is schadenfreude (tune in to listen to TD spend twenty minutes trying to pronounce this word, a running FOOTBALLZ tradition) as the Colts have been annoyingly good under old weirdy face and it is always nice to see excellence ruined but we also are super excited because his absence opens up a world of possibilities. What would the Colts be like without Manning? What if Curtis Painter is good? Would Jim Sorgi cry with happiness?  WE DON’T KNOW ANY OF THIS STUFF AND THAT IS FANTASTIC. I mean, we are excited even though we hate Painters.

these are the uniforms you WILL NOT be seeing which is a bummer

On the other side of the ball we have the still not wearing the uniforms that I think they should (how could they leave that jaunty pirate behind? how could they not get in on the bro-step marketing demo with that bright orange?) Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The up and coming Bucs are exciting for a different reason, they look like they are good but we don’t know how good they are OR how they are good (PUZZLE ON THAT ONE). They have a good young quarterback in Bill Simmons binky Josh Freeman and being redeemed punchologist LeGarratte Blount at running back as well as some talent along the defensive line but this will be their first chance to impress in a nationally televised game SO THERE IS THAT. THIS WILL BE EXCITING! THERE WILL BE EXCITEMENT IN OUR VOICES (at least at the start, probably by the fourth quarter we’ll get all weird and punchy like normal)! EXPECT MORE PANTS TALK! TUNE IN TO SEE IF ANYTHING CAN BEAT BALL BAG IN OUR FOURTH QUARTER POLL! TONIGHT AT 8:30PM! WWW.FOOTBALLZ.ORG!
The Footballz Team

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