FOOTBALLZ WEEK 15! LIONS V. RAVENS! THE FINAL FOOTBALLZING OF THE SEASON!

NATURE!

NATURE!

vs.

Look at those headlights! (her eyes you pervs)

Look at those headlights! (her eyes you pervs)

SNOW CATS (AND DAWGS),

THIS IS IT, THE LAST FOOTBALLZ OF THE YEAR, wait whuuuuuut (good luck with whatever you choose to do next Tom)? Yes, we realize that there is one more MNF game after this week but, despite what it may seem like, we all have lives and have to travel that Monday. You can blame the NFL for scheduling the game two days from Xmas (add that to your list of bad things the NFL has done, right in between knowingly letting their player concuss themselves for years without doing anything about it and jacking up ticket prices). ANYWAY we are going out with a bang rather than a whimper (or a Whimper) by having a big time PIZZA PARTY in the studio with all of our FOOTBALLZ pals that I’m sure it will be fun to listen to. BUT DON’T WORRY, while this will be the end of our live game broadcasts, we’ll keep putting content up here at the website throughout the playoffs and Superb Owl (we have a Gift Guide to finish). We’ll also have a couple of offseason broadcasts for you to check out while our buddies John Gruden and Mike Tirico are trying to pitch a Gruden Grinder to the people at Hooters and soaking his giant head respectively. HEY THERE IS STILL A GAME TONIGHT THOUGH SO ONCE MORE INTO THE PREVIEW BREACH MY FRIENDS!

THE DETROIT LIONS are a team that I’m not really into, not just because of defensive star Ndamukong Suh’s foot placement fetish. There is something about them I just don’t like, not Calvin Johnson because he’s awesome (even if his commercials are stupid), and I just figured out what that is. I’m not afraid to say it anymore, I DON’T LIKE MATT STAFFORD’S FACE. I mean look at it, he looks like an overgrown baby person or a Frank Miller villain. If you painted an egg with little beady eyes and a gross baby fish mouth then you would get an accurate presentation of the face of Matthew Stafford. I know it is shallow but HIS FACE KIND OF SCARES ME so that is the problem that I have with the Lions. Also, their coach is kind of a dick and his team just has a dickish nature.

THE BALTIMORE RAVENS won the Super Bowl last year, yeah really, that wasn’t a dream you had while filled with the disgusting things one eats at a Super Bowl party. They won and now this year they’re fighting to get back into the playoffs, WHAT A WORLD RIGHT? One day you’re applauding the richest unibrow in the world, the next you’re hoping that your hated rival can figure out how not to step out of bounds to preserve your playoff chances. It’s been a painful season for the less annoying Harbaugh brother and his charges but a win tonight keeps them IN THE HUNT (which is a phrase that I CAN’T STAND, what are they going to do mount the head of a wild card spot on the wall of their den?) for the second season. FOR US THOUGH THERE IS NO SECOND SEASON! WE SHA LA LA LA LA LA LIVE FOR TODAY (TONIGHT)! FOR IT IS THE LAST FOOTBALLZING AND THERE WILL BE MANY WONDERS ASSOCIATED WITH IT! SO MANY GUESTS IN STUDIO! TOO MANY TO MENTION! BUT WE’LL ALSO HAVE YARON WEITZMAN OF TD DAILY (NOT RELATED TO ME BUT HOPEFULLY RELATED TO EG DAILY ) ON THE PHONE! AND PIZZA, SO MUCH PIZZA! BUT DON’T WORRY WE WILL UNPIZZA OUR MOUTHS ENOUGH TO BRING YOU THE SOON TO BE AWARD WINNING COMMENTARY (THEY HAVE GOLDEN GLOBES FOR WHAT WE DO RIGHT? IT SEEMS LIKE THEY’LL GIVE THOSE TO ANYBODY) THAT YOU WILL MISS SO MUCH EVERY NIGHT THAT YOU BETTER HAVE WATER PROOF PILLOWS FOR ALL OF YOUR CRYING YOU CRYBABIES! TONIGHT WE RIDE FOOTBALLZ ALL THE WAY TO HELL! SO COME ALONG WITH US! 8:30PM!

Comments are closed.