WEEK THREE! BOYS VS. SKINS!

(ACTUALLY ITALIAN BUT EVERYBODY WOULD GET ANGRY IF THEY WERE CALLED THE WASHINGTON ITALIANS)

VS.

WE ARE THE ADBUSTERS OF SPORTS

WELCOME BACK,

ARRGHGHGHGHGHG, if you like FOOTBALLZ you know that we are forced every year to watch (at least one) NFC East match-up and every year we bitch about it and this year is no different, so we will keep it kind of short. WHY DO WE HAVE TO WATCH THESE TEAMS? ARE INTRINSICALLY BETTER OR MORE INTERESTING THEN THE 30 OTHER TEAMS? IN FACT NEITHER OF THESE TEAMS HAVE BEEN RELEVANT SUPER BOWL CONTENDERS FOR YEARS. WHY WHY WHY MUST WE HIGHLIGHT TWO OF THE MOST OBNOXIOUS OWNERS IN PRO SPORTS? MAYBE WE SHOULD SUE SOMEBODY.

AAAAAANNNNNYYWAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY, this week sees the match-up between The Washington Redskins (our most racist franchise currently and historically) and The Dallas Cowboys (one time employers of someone who did this) and we actually have some new things to talk about with them. The Cowboys one time league leader in smiles, quarterback Tony Romo, has had a lot to frown about this year, having just come off of a win who’s longest play was a pass to the winner of the best slapdick barfest reality show in history and puncturing a lung in the process, people have had things to say about this. We over here think that maybe there should be a different standard for head injuries, WHO’S EFFECTS ARE MURKY AT BEST OTHER THAN A PROCLIVITY FOR LATER IN LIFE SUICIDE, then a punctured lung for which the long term outcome is generally known. Also, maybe let’s cool it on all the hero talk. Listen to us to avoid the endless LUNGCHAT that will occur in the regular ESPN broadcast.

The Redskins are experiencing what we like to call a Rex-issance this year thanks to their new starting quarterback. After jettisoning air guitar enthusiast Donovan Mcnabb after just one year, the ‘Skins have placed their offense in the hands of the one time sex cannon himself, Rex Grossman. Sexy Rexy has lead (or at least not terribled) his team to a 2-0 start and with a win here they could put themselves in the driver’s seat of the NFC East race (which would be funny because they have been in the drivers seat of the most racist mascot in all of sports race forever), AND BOY DON’T WE WANT TO HAVE A TON OF STORIES ABOUT THAT. WHATEVER, TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL(O KITTY SOCKS)! AND BRING YOU THE INANE BLATHERING THAT YOU MOSTLY PUT ON TO BE NICE! INVITE US INTO YOUR HOMES AND WE PROMISE NOT TO STEAL FORKS! WE’D TOTALLY TAKE ONE IF YOU OFFERED THOUGH! WE COULD REALLY USE SOME FORKS! THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO GO MISSING IN OUR HOUSE AND WE ARE FRANKLY SCARED TO FIND OUT WHY! TUNE IN AT WWW.FOOTBALLZ.ORG! 8:30PM! MUSIC! TALKING! LAUGHTER!

Thanks,
The Footballz Team

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